MY BLOGS

Ephesians 4:31 says “Get rid of bitterness, rage and anger…”

We’ve all been hurt in life, sometimes intentionally, and other times, by things out of our control. I am sure you can recall heartaches and hurts from your past. For some, the memories may still be fresh. I am deeply sorry for your hurts, whether they be past or current.

The Bible’s Naomi is a good example of someone who was bitter. In the book of Ruth, Naomi moved with her husband and sons to a foreign country because of famine in her own country. First, her husband died. Next, her sons got married to local women. And then, both sons passed away. Naomi was devastated with the loss of her family. She became angry at God. She returned to her homeland. When friends and family welcomed her, she responded, “Don’t call me Naomi. Instead, call me Mara (Mara means bitter) for the Almighty has made life very bitter for me. I went away full, but the Lord has brought me home empty. Why call me Naomi when the Lord has caused me to suffer and the Almighty has sent such tragedy upon me?” (Ruth 1: 20 – 21)

Maybe you feel the same about the tragedies in your life! Maybe you are angry at God or are still angry at that family member or friend who hurt you or betrayed you. Frankly, you don’t want to forgive the perpetrators.

Do you know that God can handle your anger? He can handle all your emotions. He created us with emotions. He wants us to be open and honest with him about our feelings and emotions. Because he already knows them. Psalm 139: 1 - 2 says, “O Lord, you have examined by heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.” David is a master at expressing his doubts, fears, anger, and hurt to God. The Psalms inspire and teach us how to express our own feelings and emotions to God.

We think we have a choice when it comes to the forgiveness of others. We can either acknowledge our hurt and the emotions accompanied by it and work through it towards healing. Or we can suppress/repress our emotions which leads to bitterness and manifests in antagonism, anger, and hostility. As Lysa Terkeurst rightly said, “Unhealed hurt becomes unleashed hurt spewed out on others.” Regret follows, but always too late.

Did you know that the negative feelings of resentment and bitterness affect us not just emotionally but also physically? Dr. Carsten Wrosch of Concordia University in Montreal explains that resentment and bitterness interfere with our immune systems causing us to be susceptible to illness and disease. Our body keeps score of all our repressed/suppressed and negative emotions. We become physically ill and our pain levels ramp up.

But let’s hear what the Bible says about forgiveness. Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Forgive as God forgave me. But wait, there are more places in Scripture that speak about forgiveness. Colossians 3:13 says, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Scripture tells us to forgive seventy times seven. (Matthew 18: 21 -22). In the Lord’s prayer in Matthew 6: 9 – 15 Jesus says, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Ouch, that hurts! That means if I don’t forgive, God won’t forgive . He offers us the gift of grace and mercy, so we could extend it in the same measure.

Maybe you struggle to forgive. And I understand that you may not want to forgive. Maybe you feel like your injury is being minimized. Or, you think that you should just roll over and forget about the issue. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting. How could you forget when something insignificant as the tone of a voice could rip open the emotional scar? But God knows us, he knows our hurts. Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” And the scars, instead of jogging hurtful memories, becomes a reminder of God’s grace and mercy. Neither does forgiveness mean that the person who hurt you can escape the consequences of the wrongdoings. But forgiveness frees you from your own prison of resentment and bitterness. Let go of the bitterness and resentment against those who wronged you or it will seep into all aspects of your life. This negativity and unhappiness will isolate you and distract you from loving relationships.

Forgiveness also stops you from taking revenge into your own hands. Friend, please let go of past hurts. Let go of the hate that keeps your mind occupied with irrational thoughts to get even. Let go of the right to get even. God is the only one who has the power and authority to take revenge and can do a much better job than you. (Romans 12: 19)

Forgiveness brings healing. When you forgive, you give God the chance to bring good out of the bad that happened to you. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose .”

Let go of bitterness. Practice forgiveness daily. Be intentional on speaking life over others with blessings and prayers.

How you are faring with forgiveness? I would love to hear from you. Leave a comment.



Until next time!

Anita