MY BLOGS

The Bible Says, “The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that” (Proverbs 29:25 The Message)

The fear of others’ opinions is disabling to some of us, it consumes our mind. Lao Tzu, ancient Chinese philosopher and writer said, “Care about people’s approval and you will always be their prisoner.” We become obsessed, stressed and pain levels increase as we live in these self-made prisons.

As part of our LIVE LIGHT SERIES , we want to let go of the things that keeps us mentally tied in a knot.

Do you struggle with what others might think of you also?

The COVID19 shutdowns made me realize again how prone I am to organize my life around what others might think. Remember how we all hunkered and worked from home? After some weeks I was trying to establish a routine at home−to resume work at 7 am as if I was at the office, and break around the same time during the course of the morning for my cardio stretch−a brisk twenty minute walk. But I realized I was too scared to go out for the walk.

What if someone from work called and I was out walking? What would they think if I was not in front of my computer or answering the phone immediately? My boss would probably wonder if he could trust me working from home. However, at the office when it’s time for my cardio stretch, I had no issues leaving for twenty minutes. At home, I feared the perceptions others could have.

And you? What about the time you cancelled your lunch appointment for the nth time because of pain? Did you wonder what your friend would think? Or do you speculate if your family think you are a wimp? What are they thinking when you shuffle around with a cane? Or when they see you at the grocery store with the disabled cart?

It’s human to fear being ridiculed, disliked, or judged by others who don’t understand your pain. We fear rejection and losing friends because nobody wants to be around someone who complains about the same thing over and over.

What do we do? Instead of facing the real culprit, we hide our pain. Or we lie about our pain. We keep on smiling, telling the ones around us that we’re fine while dragging our bodies around.

The result−we become anti-social. We fail ourselves. We lose our authenticity. We obsess and stress. Negative thoughts push out positive ones in our minds. Fear drives our actions. We become unproductive. Pain ramps up to another level.

How do we rise out of this downward spiral? We let go of what others think.

Remember, we can’t control what others think. Neither can we change what they think nor their perceptions. The only thing we can change is ourselves. We can change our attitude. We can change the way we think, and we can change the way we re-act.

   1.   Let’s start each day by setting our intention−to let go of what others think. What action steps can we take to live out these intentions?

   2.   Practice self-awareness in your thought process. Think about the direction your thoughts usually take. Are they positive? Negative? Reflect about what you think. It takes practice, but you will get better at it. Journal about your thoughts on why what others think of you is so important. Let it flow through your fingertips. When you see your thoughts on paper, it loses its power over you.

   3.   Replace the negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Remember that what others think about you does not need to affect you. The only important opinion is God’s. Scripture tells us about what God thinks of us. In Psalm 139 David says, “How precious are your thoughts about me O God. They cannot be numbered.” We are so precious to God, that He has given his only Son to pay the price for our sins. John 3:16 says, “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” We matter to God. You don’t need others’ opinions to validate yourself. He loved us while we were still sinners. He loves you as you are. He knows what is going on in your life. He knows everything about you. He is the only one we are accountable to.

   4.   Set goals for your life. Dare to dream again. Dream what it’s like to be pain free. Start small. Conquer one more step today. And celebrate. See my blogposts on a Pain Management Plan . A purpose helps you become more focused on what matters in life. It requires effort, energy and power and may feel uncomfortable right now. But we are constantly growing and learning to become who God created us to be.

I challenge you to step out and let go of what others think. Set the intention tomorrow morning. Let the noise of “they, them” and the rest of the crowd fade. You are strong. You are valuable and the detail of your life matters to God.

I would love to hear how you fare with Letting go of what others think. Leave a comment.

Until next time!

Anita Beukman

Your Hope Coach